The Weaver

For two decades, my aunt has been saving a collection of my grandma's Bible study notes in a manila envelope. I had the pleasure recently of opening the envelope and reading through what my grandma had written so long ago.

Although she passed away when I was too young to remember what she was like, her writings speak to a surrendered life and a spirit made beautiful, as she would say, "by the Holy Spirit."

As I slipped the stack back in the envelope, I noticed a little slip of paper stuck on the inside. It was a short poem called "The Weaver."

My life is but a weaving

Between my Lord and me,

I cannot choose the colors

He worketh steadily.

Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,

And I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper

And I, the underside.

Not till the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the Weaver’s skillful hand

As the thread of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned.

—Author unknown

While contemplating this profound little poem over the last few days, I have been reminded of my grandma's life and moments when she could have easily thrown up her hands in despair and grown bitter over some of the threads the Weaver used. While there were many gold and silver, there were also dark strands.

At the young age of nineteen, her ankles were severely crushed and her femur broken in a car accident. During surgery, the bones in her ankles crumbled like gravel, and she was told she would never walk again.

After many months, her ankles began healing and she was able to move around with a leg brace and cane, and eventually completely on her own. She was a walking miracle and would share her story of what God had done to audiences.

Although she was able to walk, the accident had left her ankles weakened and she could be on her feet for long periods of time. Nonetheless, this did not dampen her spirit or affect her influence.

Years later, when my mom was on a missions trip in Mexico at seventeen, she received a call that her mom had heart failure. They learned later that since their mom had gone too long without oxygen, she had suffered brain damage as well. After many months of waiting, she was able to receive a heart transplant, but her mind was now like a child's.

By God's grace, she lived ten more years, and was able to be a part of mine and my older sister's lives for a few years. She passed away on November 14, 2003 at the young age of fifty-four.

While it would have been easy for my grandma as a young nineteen-year-old to question why God allowed the accident to happen and grown bitter over it, she trusted in His plan through the pain, and as a result, became a testimony to others.

While walking with a bulky leg brace under her dress in college was uncomfortable and awkward, she didn't let it hinder the beauty God was doing in her heart. Even though she did not have complete healing and could not be on her feet for long periods of time throughout her life, she didn't let that hinder her trust in the Weaver or stop Him in His weaving.

Reflecting on the ending of her life, many would and still ask, "Why?" Why would the Weaver have used those dark strands in the life of one who faithfully followed Him? Why did her life have to be cut so short and end the way it did? Why did she have to miss out on seeing nine other grandchildren enter the world?

One thing I do know, is that my grandma is not asking, "Why?" All her life, she saw only the messy backside of the tapestry, but now that she is face to face with Jesus, she sees the beautiful front side her Lord was weaving all that time. She ended the race strong because she trusted Him, even when it was all dark threads and tangles.

That is my question for you today. What dark threads is the Weaver using in your life? Do you trust in His infinite love for you and that He uses all things? We cannot even try to understand the hurt and pain we experience as a result of living in a sin-fallen world.

I don't know why my grandma had to be sick for ten years and taken away when I was only two-years-old, but I do know that God knows all, and He doesn't let a single pain or tear go to waste in our lives. He only does good things; and if we surrender in the fire and in the tangles, we will see a beautiful tapestry in the end.

My grandma's life and faith in her God still speaks today and challenges me to daily put my trust in the Weaver. Looking back on her life, I know that I do not have to worry about what threads will be used, because I can trust in the One Who loves me and gave His life for me.

Her life was a living vessel; surrendered clay in the hands of the Potter, and as a result, was an abundant life. Monti Patricia Spiegel's life is proof that He makes all things beautiful. She cannot wait to show us the other side of her tapestry.

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬-‭16‬ ‭‬‬

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭13‬ ‭

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭7‬ ‭